Rituals

On a typical morning you would likely find me racing around the house, drinking an entire pot of coffee (you think I’m exaggerating but I’m so not…I pee a lot, folks), checking emails, scheduling and outlining my day/week/month/life/whatever, trying to finish a paper or test and if I am lucky also cramming a quick, high intensity, very possibly ineffective, stomach churning workout into that breathless two hour window before Bean wakes up and totally turns the day, the house and everyone in it upside down…oh, but not before spinning us around until we’re dizzy and throwing us against the wall a few times. Toddlers are evil. Just saying.

It seemed so normal. It really did. I thought I was being supermom. I thought I had it all under control. And I just could not, for the life of me, figure out why I felt like such a…well, Bitch (with a capital B) all the time. It really is no wonder my thoughts were hanging by fickle little strands. I was completely out of balance, trying to control all of the wrong things in my life, slamming myself with adrenaline and caffeine and stress every single day before I had even sat down to eat a decent breakfast.

Then, out of the freaking blue, Bean- the wonder child who sleeps in until 9- decides she’s now a morning person and begins waking up as soon as light stretches in through the mini-blinds and pirouettes along her dimpled, olive toned cheeks. So I spent an entire week being coerced into waking about a half hour earlier than I was used to.

I knew my routine wasn’t working out, especially given the new circumstances, but I didn’t know what to do about it. I tried a little research and scrolled through an assortment of wellness blogs and yoga sites for inspiration. I stumbled through several, barely reading, as they were all beginning to blur together. Yeah, I get it…I need to be mindful. Savor moments. Do backflips around the silver lining. Yada yada yada but HOW? How does one go from manic to Zen overnight?

While browsing what Kris Carr calls Love Lists on the Crazy Sexy Life website (I am obsessed. Shamelessly and forever. Please do yourself a favor and go read her delectable insights. She and the rest of the Crazy Sexy gang are wonderful) I stumbled upon this piece and the words, “When I start my day with caffeine, emails, news and stress, I can pretty much guarantee 24 hours in shitsville,” caught my eye. Zing!

 She made it sound so simple. Take 20 minutes in the morning and treat yourself to a little slice of peace. I made a mental note to try it sometime.

Fast forward a couple of mornings: I prepare to scramble out of bed as quietly as possible and try to get a few things accomplished around the house without waking Bean up. Then I remember those wise words about making my morning count and I stop myself in my anxiety fueled tracks. I sit for a few seconds wondering if I should try meditating or something. Then I glance over at my book shelf, stretch like elasti-girl and grab a couple of gems: A Night Without Armor: Poems by Jewel Kilcher and 20 Something, 20 Everything by Christine Hassler (a self-helper I highly recommend for any of you 20-something or hell even 30 or 40 something ambitious women).

I know I’m getting chatty here so I’ll get to a close by saying that this small change (which, by the way, barely interferes with my busy schedule) has made an unbelievable difference in how I feel. By taking no more than 25-30 minutes that morning to seek some inner refuge I was able to face the day’s tasks with a clear mind and an uplifted spirit. So I made a conscious effort to do something every morning since. Some days I have to improvise of course. This morning, for instance, I was greeted by a perky toddler perched on my chest saying, “Maaaaama…sun goes up! I have to pee I’m hummy I want ‘yucky’ charms WAKE UP MAMA!!” Reading in bed was obviously out of the question. So I did some journaling while she ate and I taught her a couple of new yoga poses. She soon grew bored and began playing with blocks while I did a few more series of poses, with reverence and thanks this time. Then I ate breakfast by the open window and listened to the birds in the trees.

Big changes are taking place in our neck of the woods, people!